Archives for June 2019

10 Topics to Discuss Before Marriage

When people decide to get married, there are some topics that can be overlooked that ‘down the relationship track’ may become more important.

Here are some issues that you might want to discuss with your future life partner.

Firstly choose a date night, or coffee time when you both feel relaxed and not stressed, and are in the mood to communicate openly together. 

Some of these subjects may not pertain to your relationship, and others may just be overlooked or taken for granted that you agree on these issues already. Especially in the heat of new romance, we show our partner our best side. This does not mean that habits or feelings that initially seem endearing can after time be annoying. 

I was looking at a comedy show recently and the American female comic mentioned something that was to a big deal to her when choosing a partner. She was initially attracted to her lover and future husband partly because he was a Harvard business graduate, and she was not ‘good’ with finance and had a rather erratic earning potential at that time.  She erroneously thought that he would have that area of life covered, as that was his forte, only to find out much later that he was quite heavily in debt and not that good with finances at all. 

So here are some things to talk about so you can be on the same page with your loved one.

You both don’t have to agree on every little thing, but talk about the ones that you think might be a priority for you in a happy marriage.

  1. Career:- What are your ambitions in your career, are you highly ambitious, somewhat ambitious, or mildly ambitious. What sort of priority do you place on work schedule, as opposed to home and/or family life? If work takes you away from home a lot, would your partner be happy with this? If you needed to move away from your current home for work purposes, whose career takes precedence and priority?
  2. Finances:- Do either of you have any significant debt which should be revealed. What are your spending and or savings habits? Do you want to share bank accounts or keep them separate? Will there be open communication around money. Will significant purchases be discussed together? Will you set an amount e.g. $200 or under that one person can make the decision to spend without the other person’s consent. Of course that amount is variable and a joint decision. 
  3. Family:- Do you have much contact with Parents and other relatives? How much do you allow them into your life and relationship decisions? Do you all get on well together? 
  4. Children:- Do you see having children in your future? If so is there a timeline that you both agree on for that to happen in a comfortable manner for both parties. Will duties be shared or will one person be the main nurturer. How much will each parent contribute to the upbringing emotionally and financially. 
  5. Friends and social life:- How much do you want to socialise with friendship groups moving forward? Are you happy if your partner socialises regularly without you? Are you comfortable with your future spouse confiding in their friends about your relationship. If so how much do you consider a fair thing? Do you consider time apart healthy or a deal breaker. 
  6. Gambling and or Alcohol or Substance abuse:-Do either of you have problems with gambling, alcohol or drug abuse which your partner finds problematic or that are not being controlled?
  7. Politics, Spirituality and or Religion:- Discuss your feelings about these things. Do you share common values re social justice, compassions towards your fellow human, do you see these ideas changing in any way? Are you on the same page with spirituality and or religion.  Do you think your partners beliefs would ever be a problem with your relationship should things change? If your partner’s views changed drastically in any of these ways, how much is too much for you to handle?
  8. Love and Sex:- What are your honest views on your sex life. Do either of you have needs which are not being fulfilled right now? If so how can you deal with these issues. Discuss what you like sexually and what you need sexually to be happy in your relationship. How do you need your partner to show affection? Romantic words, actions or both? How much intimacy do you need to be shown to feel loved?
  9. Respect:- How do you wish to be spoken about and treated in front of friends and relatives? How much is too much when joking about your spouse? When do you feel disrespected? Ensure your loved one knows when they are going too far. Some friends I know have key words that they say when their significant other is crossing the line with them, either alone or especially socially. 
  10. How to make the chores fair:- Make a list of things that each of you can look after in the relationship to make the workload fair and equitable. Taking turn about to cook and clean. Making sure that there is not just one person shouldering all of the work. Keep your eyes open to what needs to be done and don’t make one person the ‘parent figure’ who always has to ask the other to do their chores. That doesn’t make anyone feel loved or appreciated.

There are many more issues which could be mentioned on this list, but maybe when you start your open communications other issues which are important to you both will come up in your discussions. Communication is one of the major keys to success in a long term relationship. 

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Tips for a Simple Budget Wedding

So you’re getting Married, and you’re considering keeping it very simple.

There is of course nothing wrong with the big traditional wedding with all of the trimmings, but if that’s not your bag, read on.

At Cherish Ceremonies we are often asked our advice on how to make a wedding as simple and as stress free as possible.

The biggest thing to remember is that this is YOUR wedding. Firstly, chat with your partner about what is important to you as a couple. Make a list of what you both want and then come to some decisions. Then the challenge is to remain firm about your decisions. Sometimes when well meaning friends or relatives get too involved they may sway you into thinking that you HAVE to have certain traditions at your wedding.  Guess what – they are wrong.  You get to have whatever you want, not what Aunty Flo thinks is a good idea. If Aunty Flo is bankrolling the whole shebang, then you may give her a small say, within reason HA HA. Only divulge what you have to about your plans to people who are either helping or their opinion matters to you. 

Some suggestions for simplifying your wedding plans:-

  • Choose a date, a Celebrant and a venue. These are the big things out of the way. Phew!
  • If you want to make it really simple, get married and get someone to throw you a party. 
  • Lists and timelines are your friend. 
  • Get stuff out of the way asap then cruise into your big day.


Tell your Celebrant what type of ceremony you are dreaming of – romantic, short, long, lighthearted, serious, traditional, themed? At Cherish Ceremonies we have so many different options for you to choose from, from original, to a ceremony that you can mix and match your favourite parts from our extensive collection of weddings and vows and readings. You can be as hands on or hands off as you like, you can just tell us a little about your love story and then just leave it to us, we email you our ideas and then you give us your input. Easy! We’ve performed all types of weddings, from the traditional to the outrageous. But that’s probably information for another blog…… 

Wedding Party

The simplest way to have a wedding is to do without the attendants. That way you only have to concern yourself with what you and your partner are wearing. 

If you simply can’t do it without your best friends, another alternative is to just have them as your witnesses for the signing of the certificates. Another way of including special people is to have them as a ceremony reader or a greeter or in some other important role.


Can be anything that makes you feel special and comfortable. 

You may already have a suitable item in your wardrobe, if so go right ahead and wear it. 

Bear in mind that specific wedding clothes are sometimes never worn again, so consider vintage, second hand, or hire. Men, it is marvellous how you can dress up a nice pair of black dress pants with a long sleeved shirt and tie. Women, any dress that makes you feel special can be the one. 

Ceremony and Reception Site

If you’re on a budget or just want it to be simple, parks, gardens, your backyard or that of a good friend or relative can be the way to go. These can be a setting for a far more intimate gathering, and there are no restrictions or closing times, so the revelry can go on as long as you like. Do bear in mind wet or very hot weather and have a plan for that. 

A close relative is planning a wedding next year and is having it outdoors. She has purchased a small marquee which is quite inexpensive these days if you shop around online, and she will sell it after the wedding.  A patio or undercover area are of course just as good. A community hall could also be a great choice. We’ve married people on clifftops, near waterfalls, at lookouts, in rose gardens, in parks, beside rivers and lakes, the beauty of nature is endless. 

It’s really not all about impressing your guests, it’s about your day being a happy and memorable one for you. Most people have probably attended many weddings in their time and can appreciate that ‘one size does not fit all’. They will enjoy a wedding that is authentically you. It is not even necessary to have guests – the only legal requirement for attendance is to have two witnesses present at your ceremony. Maybe this is how you see it too. Very simple, very budget conscious. A lot of people like having the support of special people on their big day, if so…..

Beware the guest blowout

This is where suddenly you feel you have to invite all and sundry to your wedding so as not to offend people. A good idea is to put them through the 10 year filter.  Are these people very important to you now and do you think they will still be playing a role in your life in 10 years time? Within reason there should be no one at your wedding that you don’t know and/or that you don’t like very much. No distant relatives, no one that you don’t have regular contact with, no one that is not a positive influence in your life, no one that isn’t supportive of your union 100 percent, no one that will remotely cause trouble on your special day. And no, you don’t have to invite your Boss your co-workers or anyone that is not a true friend, although sometimes they are!


Pinterest is a great place to look for ideas for decorating your space.  There are all kinds of do it yourself ways of beautifying your wedding to suit all different tastes on Pinterest.  If you are not already on Pinterest, do yourself a favour and do so now. 

Maybe if you’ve chosen a beautiful outdoor area and you can just leave it to nature to be spectacular.

Also think of the skill sets of like minded friends or relatives who have an eye for décor and ask them to be part of your planning and decorating committee. If there is no one creative enough, then there are plenty of wedding decorators who will hire their beautiful wares, bring them to your site, set them up and then take them away at a very low cost. Very simple indeed.


Flowers may be your thing and you may want to spend a lot of money on them at a florist.  If not check out the flower markets for a much cheaper option.  It is easy to make them look pretty tied together with some ribbon or twine.  Another idea is a group bouquet, where guests are asked to bring a flower each and someone special ties them all together for you.

Cars or special transportation

Should the Bride/Groom, Bride/Bride, Groom/Groom feel the need to come in a special car, firstly try and think of friends who might have a luxurious or fun one that they might like to drive you to your ceremony in. Or maybe you’d like to hire a Harley Davidson. 

If arriving in a special vehicle is not your style, ditch the idea and save some money on car, horse and carriage or bike hire.


Self cater or having a small business cater for your guests

Providing your own beer, wine, soft drink and water is the most budget friendly way.

You can then buy it when it is on sale or cheaper than normal. 

Hire a waiter or ask a friend to serve. Alternatively provide a large drinks fridge and bar and allow guests to self serve. 

If no gifts are required it is quite acceptable to:-

  • Go to a restaurant and have everyone pay for their own meal if it is a small occasion
  • Have everyone bring a plate and share a meal
  • Have guests bring a picnic lunch or dinner, spread out rugs and eat on the grass
  • Hire a food truck to come to your site and provide meals. Pizza, Mexican, Burger, Greek and Turkish food trucks are just some that are available. This can be quite casual and enjoyable and budget friendly.
  • Have a BBQ at a park or home. 

If gifts are accepted then there is usually some kind of meal provided. 


We always suggest that people invest in a good photographer for obvious reasons. 


Technology has made music a much easier thing to manage these days. Start making a suitable play list of fave tunes on your phone, hook up with your Bluetooth speaker and start playing.

Things to bear in mind – some softer music while you’re eating.

  • Some bangers for dancing.
  • Some chill out music for when the event is winding down.

You can always hire a musician, D.J or band if you wish to spend money from your budget in this area, but again it’s not especially required if want to keep it simple.


Here at Cherish Ceremonies Celebrants we sincerely hope this list of simple and budget ideas has given you some inspiration for your big day.  

We have heaps more ideas for you if you contact us. Please do, you won’t be disappointed!

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