10 Topics to Discuss Before Marriage

When people decide to get married, there are some topics that can be overlooked that ‘down the relationship track’ may become more important.

Here are some issues that you might want to discuss with your future life partner.

Firstly choose a date night, or coffee time when you both feel relaxed and not stressed, and are in the mood to communicate openly together. 

Some of these subjects may not pertain to your relationship, and others may just be overlooked or taken for granted that you agree on these issues already. Especially in the heat of new romance, we show our partner our best side. This does not mean that habits or feelings that initially seem endearing can after time be annoying. 

I was looking at a comedy show recently and the American female comic mentioned something that was to a big deal to her when choosing a partner. She was initially attracted to her lover and future husband partly because he was a Harvard business graduate, and she was not ‘good’ with finance and had a rather erratic earning potential at that time.  She erroneously thought that he would have that area of life covered, as that was his forte, only to find out much later that he was quite heavily in debt and not that good with finances at all. 

So here are some things to talk about so you can be on the same page with your loved one.

You both don’t have to agree on every little thing, but talk about the ones that you think might be a priority for you in a happy marriage.

  1. Career:- What are your ambitions in your career, are you highly ambitious, somewhat ambitious, or mildly ambitious. What sort of priority do you place on work schedule, as opposed to home and/or family life? If work takes you away from home a lot, would your partner be happy with this? If you needed to move away from your current home for work purposes, whose career takes precedence and priority?
  2. Finances:- Do either of you have any significant debt which should be revealed. What are your spending and or savings habits? Do you want to share bank accounts or keep them separate? Will there be open communication around money. Will significant purchases be discussed together? Will you set an amount e.g. $200 or under that one person can make the decision to spend without the other person’s consent. Of course that amount is variable and a joint decision. 
  3. Family:- Do you have much contact with Parents and other relatives? How much do you allow them into your life and relationship decisions? Do you all get on well together? 
  4. Children:- Do you see having children in your future? If so is there a timeline that you both agree on for that to happen in a comfortable manner for both parties. Will duties be shared or will one person be the main nurturer. How much will each parent contribute to the upbringing emotionally and financially. 
  5. Friends and social life:- How much do you want to socialise with friendship groups moving forward? Are you happy if your partner socialises regularly without you? Are you comfortable with your future spouse confiding in their friends about your relationship. If so how much do you consider a fair thing? Do you consider time apart healthy or a deal breaker. 
  6. Gambling and or Alcohol or Substance abuse:-Do either of you have problems with gambling, alcohol or drug abuse which your partner finds problematic or that are not being controlled?
  7. Politics, Spirituality and or Religion:- Discuss your feelings about these things. Do you share common values re social justice, compassions towards your fellow human, do you see these ideas changing in any way? Are you on the same page with spirituality and or religion.  Do you think your partners beliefs would ever be a problem with your relationship should things change? If your partner’s views changed drastically in any of these ways, how much is too much for you to handle?
  8. Love and Sex:- What are your honest views on your sex life. Do either of you have needs which are not being fulfilled right now? If so how can you deal with these issues. Discuss what you like sexually and what you need sexually to be happy in your relationship. How do you need your partner to show affection? Romantic words, actions or both? How much intimacy do you need to be shown to feel loved?
  9. Respect:- How do you wish to be spoken about and treated in front of friends and relatives? How much is too much when joking about your spouse? When do you feel disrespected? Ensure your loved one knows when they are going too far. Some friends I know have key words that they say when their significant other is crossing the line with them, either alone or especially socially. 
  10. How to make the chores fair:- Make a list of things that each of you can look after in the relationship to make the workload fair and equitable. Taking turn about to cook and clean. Making sure that there is not just one person shouldering all of the work. Keep your eyes open to what needs to be done and don’t make one person the ‘parent figure’ who always has to ask the other to do their chores. That doesn’t make anyone feel loved or appreciated.

There are many more issues which could be mentioned on this list, but maybe when you start your open communications other issues which are important to you both will come up in your discussions. Communication is one of the major keys to success in a long term relationship. 

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Tips for a Simple Budget Wedding

So you’re getting Married, and you’re considering keeping it very simple.

There is of course nothing wrong with the big traditional wedding with all of the trimmings, but if that’s not your bag, read on.

At Cherish Ceremonies we are often asked our advice on how to make a wedding as simple and as stress free as possible.

The biggest thing to remember is that this is YOUR wedding. Firstly, chat with your partner about what is important to you as a couple. Make a list of what you both want and then come to some decisions. Then the challenge is to remain firm about your decisions. Sometimes when well meaning friends or relatives get too involved they may sway you into thinking that you HAVE to have certain traditions at your wedding.  Guess what – they are wrong.  You get to have whatever you want, not what Aunty Flo thinks is a good idea. If Aunty Flo is bankrolling the whole shebang, then you may give her a small say, within reason HA HA. Only divulge what you have to about your plans to people who are either helping or their opinion matters to you. 

Some suggestions for simplifying your wedding plans:-

  • Choose a date, a Celebrant and a venue. These are the big things out of the way. Phew!
  • If you want to make it really simple, get married and get someone to throw you a party. 
  • Lists and timelines are your friend. 
  • Get stuff out of the way asap then cruise into your big day.

Ceremony

Tell your Celebrant what type of ceremony you are dreaming of – romantic, short, long, lighthearted, serious, traditional, themed? At Cherish Ceremonies we have so many different options for you to choose from, from original, to a ceremony that you can mix and match your favourite parts from our extensive collection of weddings and vows and readings. You can be as hands on or hands off as you like, you can just tell us a little about your love story and then just leave it to us, we email you our ideas and then you give us your input. Easy! We’ve performed all types of weddings, from the traditional to the outrageous. But that’s probably information for another blog…… 

Wedding Party

The simplest way to have a wedding is to do without the attendants. That way you only have to concern yourself with what you and your partner are wearing. 

If you simply can’t do it without your best friends, another alternative is to just have them as your witnesses for the signing of the certificates. Another way of including special people is to have them as a ceremony reader or a greeter or in some other important role.

Clothing

Can be anything that makes you feel special and comfortable. 

You may already have a suitable item in your wardrobe, if so go right ahead and wear it. 

Bear in mind that specific wedding clothes are sometimes never worn again, so consider vintage, second hand, or hire. Men, it is marvellous how you can dress up a nice pair of black dress pants with a long sleeved shirt and tie. Women, any dress that makes you feel special can be the one. 

Ceremony and Reception Site

If you’re on a budget or just want it to be simple, parks, gardens, your backyard or that of a good friend or relative can be the way to go. These can be a setting for a far more intimate gathering, and there are no restrictions or closing times, so the revelry can go on as long as you like. Do bear in mind wet or very hot weather and have a plan for that. 

A close relative is planning a wedding next year and is having it outdoors. She has purchased a small marquee which is quite inexpensive these days if you shop around online, and she will sell it after the wedding.  A patio or undercover area are of course just as good. A community hall could also be a great choice. We’ve married people on clifftops, near waterfalls, at lookouts, in rose gardens, in parks, beside rivers and lakes, the beauty of nature is endless. 

It’s really not all about impressing your guests, it’s about your day being a happy and memorable one for you. Most people have probably attended many weddings in their time and can appreciate that ‘one size does not fit all’. They will enjoy a wedding that is authentically you. It is not even necessary to have guests – the only legal requirement for attendance is to have two witnesses present at your ceremony. Maybe this is how you see it too. Very simple, very budget conscious. A lot of people like having the support of special people on their big day, if so…..

Beware the guest blowout

This is where suddenly you feel you have to invite all and sundry to your wedding so as not to offend people. A good idea is to put them through the 10 year filter.  Are these people very important to you now and do you think they will still be playing a role in your life in 10 years time? Within reason there should be no one at your wedding that you don’t know and/or that you don’t like very much. No distant relatives, no one that you don’t have regular contact with, no one that is not a positive influence in your life, no one that isn’t supportive of your union 100 percent, no one that will remotely cause trouble on your special day. And no, you don’t have to invite your Boss your co-workers or anyone that is not a true friend, although sometimes they are!

Decorations

Pinterest is a great place to look for ideas for decorating your space.  There are all kinds of do it yourself ways of beautifying your wedding to suit all different tastes on Pinterest.  If you are not already on Pinterest, do yourself a favour and do so now. 

Maybe if you’ve chosen a beautiful outdoor area and you can just leave it to nature to be spectacular.

Also think of the skill sets of like minded friends or relatives who have an eye for décor and ask them to be part of your planning and decorating committee. If there is no one creative enough, then there are plenty of wedding decorators who will hire their beautiful wares, bring them to your site, set them up and then take them away at a very low cost. Very simple indeed.

Flowers

Flowers may be your thing and you may want to spend a lot of money on them at a florist.  If not check out the flower markets for a much cheaper option.  It is easy to make them look pretty tied together with some ribbon or twine.  Another idea is a group bouquet, where guests are asked to bring a flower each and someone special ties them all together for you.

Cars or special transportation

Should the Bride/Groom, Bride/Bride, Groom/Groom feel the need to come in a special car, firstly try and think of friends who might have a luxurious or fun one that they might like to drive you to your ceremony in. Or maybe you’d like to hire a Harley Davidson. 

If arriving in a special vehicle is not your style, ditch the idea and save some money on car, horse and carriage or bike hire.

Catering

Self cater or having a small business cater for your guests

Providing your own beer, wine, soft drink and water is the most budget friendly way.

You can then buy it when it is on sale or cheaper than normal. 

Hire a waiter or ask a friend to serve. Alternatively provide a large drinks fridge and bar and allow guests to self serve. 

If no gifts are required it is quite acceptable to:-

  • Go to a restaurant and have everyone pay for their own meal if it is a small occasion
  • Have everyone bring a plate and share a meal
  • Have guests bring a picnic lunch or dinner, spread out rugs and eat on the grass
  • Hire a food truck to come to your site and provide meals. Pizza, Mexican, Burger, Greek and Turkish food trucks are just some that are available. This can be quite casual and enjoyable and budget friendly.
  • Have a BBQ at a park or home. 

If gifts are accepted then there is usually some kind of meal provided. 

Photographer

We always suggest that people invest in a good photographer for obvious reasons. 

Music

Technology has made music a much easier thing to manage these days. Start making a suitable play list of fave tunes on your phone, hook up with your Bluetooth speaker and start playing.

Things to bear in mind – some softer music while you’re eating.

  • Some bangers for dancing.
  • Some chill out music for when the event is winding down.

You can always hire a musician, D.J or band if you wish to spend money from your budget in this area, but again it’s not especially required if want to keep it simple.

Finally

Here at Cherish Ceremonies Celebrants we sincerely hope this list of simple and budget ideas has given you some inspiration for your big day.  

We have heaps more ideas for you if you contact us. Please do, you won’t be disappointed!

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Creating, writing and communicating your wedding vows

Hooray, you’re getting married. Congratulations!

This is a guide to create your own personal wedding vows.

In Australia there is a legal vow line which must be spoken in your vows.

It is:- I call upon the persons here present to witness that I (two names) take you (two names) to be my lawfully wedded wife/husband/spouse.

We usually advise couples to say the legal vow line first up and then continue with their more heartfelt pledges to one another.

Apart from the legal line, you may commit to your partner with your own words, or words which have been provided by your celebrant. Here at Cherish Ceremonies, we have a wealth of material which you may use to create your vows. Sometimes, couples find that what they would like to say to their fiancée has already been written or they mix and match words from vows that we provide. This method is quite acceptable and can be personalised quite easily.

If you choose to write your own vows, bear in mind that the vows are primarily a promise to your partner of your continued love.

Questions you could ask yourself might be:-

vows, writing, personal, perform, wedding, marriage, legal, australia, celebrant, Brisbane, Gold Coast, Sunshine Coast, Tamborine, Ipswich, Logan, South East Queensland

1.Why is it important that you take your relationship to the next level of marriage?

2. What do you value about your partnership?

3. What drew you together and what shared values do you think will keep you together?

4. Words like love, commitment, teamwork, respect, communication, may be important to you as a couple.

5. Don’t forget you may want to mention the fun and happiness that enriches your relationship.

6. Remember the aspects you have in common and the things that make you individuals that you respect in your partner.

7. It is fine to make a joke as long as it is not disparaging to your loved one in any way. 

Speaking your vows

You’ve gone to the trouble of writing something personal for your partner. Now it’s important to deliver these lines to the best of your ability.

At Cherish Ceremonies we offer two methods to perform your vows.

If they are more than a few lines long, we advise you not to repeat after us.  This can be laborious and boring if you want your pledges to sound great.

We can hand you our book, landscape style with your vows printed for you.  It is a good idea to have the vows finalised a while before the wedding, so you can practice them and be very familiar with them on your big day.

You definitely do not need to learn them by heart.  It can be the most emotional part of your ceremony, so having those words printed in front of you can be a lifesaver on your wedding day.  Remember it is fine to take your time with your special words and to show some emotion. Your friends and family will appreciate your love for one another, and probably join in if you have some tears to shed.

Your celebrant or members of your bridal party will have some tissues on hand!

Don’t be embarrassed, your love for one another will move mountains and inspire your friends and family.

Remember, your Celebrant has witnessed many marriages, therefore will be on hand to help with your vows should you need an expert opinion.

Love from Cherish Ceremonies

Lynette and Tamzin.

Phone Lynette 07 3807 3025
or
Tamzin 0403 582 667
or email us on: celebrant@cherishceremonies.com

Ideas for Games at your Wedding by Cherish Ceremonies Marriage Celebrants

celebrant, cherish, logan, beenleigh, windaroo, waterford, queensland, brisbane, gold coast, outdoor games, croquet, lawn, Games at weddings are becoming more and more popular.  When I first became a celebrant I performed a themed and costumed Alice in Wonderland Wedding.  I came as the white rabbit from the story. During the break after the ceremony and before the Reception, guests played croquet on the lawn, like they did in the story itself.  They all seemed to really enjoy the theme and the croquet.

You don’t have to have a theme to have some fun and games at your wedding.  If you want to be hip with the in crowd, here are some tips for a successful fun wedding that everyone will be talking about for ages afterwards.

So many ceremonies happen outdoors in parks and gardens these days and even in people’s home gardens, that it is really perfect to set up some games to give the guests something to do if there is a break between the ceremony and the reception times. It also discourages so much alcohol drinking, so could save you a bundle. You can provide water and soft drinks in eskies or tubs of ice during the break. Let the champagne flow after the bridal party arrive back to the celebrations.

celebrant, cherish, logan, beenleigh, windaroo, waterford, queensland, brisbane, gold coast, boules, bocce, outdoor games, lawn, game, weddingThere are a few ways to acquire the necessary games you need to keep the guests entertained while you have photos taken etc.  Firstly keep in mind what type of wedding you are having.  If the look is very formal, some more refined games would be required.  Croquet or Boules would be very suitable.  You can buy boules and croquet sets that are not too expensive and keep them later for home parties in your own garden.  If you keep your eye on the catalogues you can find these games on special from time to time.  They last forever, so can be a great investment. I also had friends who made their own giant jenga.  They said it wasn’t too hard.  Look on pinterest for information on making giant games.

celebrant, cherish, logan, beenleigh, windaroo, waterford, queensland, brisbane, gold coast, jenga, giant, bride, groom, outdoor, game, fun, I ordered giant games online, which included giant jenga (very popular) and giant connect 4, also a popular game.  There was also a giant dominoes. The quality of the games when they arrived was quite disappointing, the giant connect 4 falling to pieces before my party was over. This was a big shame.  I had attended a party where the giant games were absolutely fantastic.  On enquiry, my friend informed me that she had hired these games for her party.

Another fantastic game is Giant frisbee, but this perhaps is a little athletic for a wedding.  Guests may have to take off their good shoes and heels to play this.

connect four, 4, celebrant, cherish, logan, beenleigh, windaroo, waterford, queensland, brisbane, gold coast, outdoor, game, lawn, fun, Some of the types of outdoor games for hire

  • Giant chess
  • Giant jenga
  • Giant pick up sticks
  • Ten Pin Bowling
  • Boules
  • Croquet
  • Giant Connect 4

So if you do care that your guests are having a great time and not just drinking the bar dry in between ceremony and reception, start buying or look at some of the following websites to see prices to hire games.  Then put one of your friends or family members in charge of putting the games out and collecting them to be taken back after the wedding.

If you are game for the games for your big event, try the following websites.

www.brisbanebackyardgames.com.au

www.giantgames.com.au

or if you feel jumpy

www.jumpingcastlehirebrisbane.com.au/

Have an excellent wedding and if you want a fantastic celebrant who is lots of fun, contact us.

celebrant, cherish, logan, beenleigh, windaroo, waterford, queensland, brisbane, gold coast, outdoor, game, lawn, fun, noughts, crosses, o, x,

 

Cherish Ceremonies

Marriage Celebrants

www.cherishceremonies.com.au

www.cherishceremonies.com

phone Lynette 07 3807 3025 or Tamzin 0403 582 667

Creating Moments to Cherish Forever!

Pets at your Wedding by Cherish Ceremonies

Having your Fur Babies attend your wedding is very popular at the moment.  Doggos and Puppers are such a special part of the family and more and more people are choosing to have them be present and be part of their wedding and new ‘leash on life’.

There are a few things to consider when deciding to have your pets be a part of your special day, otherwise, it can end up a bit Ruff.

As weddings can be quite busy and hectic, it is a good idea to ‘paws’ and ask a friend or relative or specialised pet sitter to be in charge of your furry friend/s.  These days there are even special people who will do everything on the big day to ensure your furry friends arrive on time, are looked after, fed watered and returned to their safe place after the wedding. This obviously removes the worry about their welfare.

For example: http://www.firstclasspetweddingassistants.com.au First Class Pet Wedding Assistants service Brisbane, Gold Coast, Sunshine Coast, Northern NSW and the Hinterlands

 

Llama alpaca wedding bride groom pet ceremony Logan, Beenleigh, brisbane, Gold Coast, Tamborine mountain, Windaroo, Waterford, Queensland Firstly you should check that pets are allowed at the site you have chosen.  They will need shade and water if it is an outside venue, especially in summer weather. Obviously, they should not be left alone in cars or to their own devices.  Please give someone from your guests or your pet sitter permission to come and get the pets if they start to cause any sort of disruption to your ceremony. Like little children, pets can sometimes act out of character or in an unruly manner, and you don’t want them to spoil your big day.

If they are playing a role in the ceremony, besides being in the photos or part of the wedding party, you should practice their role with them. Be realistic, do they sit still and behave if they are going to be part of the ceremony?

This is a true ‘tail’ from a Cherish Wedding. Quite a few years ago, friends of mine, Lindsay and Kim, decided to a special little fur friend Rufus take the role of ‘best man and ring bearer’ at their wedding. Rufus was a very good friend of Lindsay’s and they decided to dispense with the traditional human roles of Best Man and just use Rufus. Being the smart little fellow he was, they practiced calling him at the appropriate time to come and bring the rings to the Bride and Groom. Rufus wore a doggy tuxedo with the rings attached and ran up the aisle right on cue and delivered the rings to perfection.  What a good boy he was.

Since those days, many couples have chosen to have their fur babies there as part of their ceremony to great acclaim.

There are many websites where you can purchase some formal gear for you pet to wear at your Wedding. Otherwise, a pretty bow or some flowers attached to their collar would do the trick just right!

Good luck with your pet-friendly wedding and if you follow some of this advice you too will have a happy ‘tail’ to tell.

If you would like to book a wedding including pets with Cherish Ceremonies, just contact us

Cherish Ceremonies – Creating Memories to Cherish Forever!

dog pet friendly wedding assistant marriage ceremony cherish ceremonies logan brisbane beenleigh windaroo waterford queensland

Wedding-Hot Air Balloon

xYarra,P20Valley,P20Moomba,P20vines-large.jpg.pagespeed.ic.oNtKdCc-n8Wedding in Hot Air Balloon

If you have a yen for an out of this world wedding, or you are true lovebirds, you could consider a Hot Air Balloon wedding.

If you’d love to have a romantic wedding, with beautiful views of South East Queensland, maybe getting married in a Hot Air Balloon is your dream come true.

The views are beautiful, and the guests are limited.

Things to consider are:-

  1. Are you an early morning person? Hot air balloons usually fly of an early morning.
  2. Do you mind if your wedding date changes? Weather conditions are a factor in whether the balloon flies or not.
  3. Are your celebrant and two witnesses able to change days if needs be?
  4. The Hot Air Balloon company usually charges more per person for wedding flights.
  5. If the Bride is wearing a long gown, she would probably have to be helped into the basket and helped out again.
  6. Brides should probably consider a veil free ensemble.
  7. You could take your photographer, or have them meet you at the landing site.
  8. Alternatively one of the witnesses could snap photos of you on the flight.
  9. Choose one of the Cherish Ceremonies celebrants. We love heights.

For more information or to make a booking for your wedding contact us

 

Unusual Sites for a Wedding – Wedding on a Boat or Ship

SONY DSCUnusual sites for a Wedding – Marriage on a Boat or Ship

If you are searching for a different setting for your wedding you and you simply love the water, you may be interested in the romantic idea of marrying on a boat.

Water is usually associated with emotion, so it is a great place spiritually to be married near or on the water.

There are varied ways of doing this and many different styles of boat or ship that you could use.

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Wedding – Country Chic Theme

Beautiful country wedding, lovely couple, Alix and Ryan tied the knot at Alix’s Grandparents home. Country theme with muslin covered hay bales for guests to sit on. Country chic stylings, with hand made dream catchers, flowers in cream cans hung around the small lake. Family lectern with brass engraved plaques noting each family ceremony. Cute blackboard and white hooked metal stands around the lake and new wooden walkway were just some of the many decorations. Charlie the family’s border collie was all dressed up in a tuxedo for the wedding. He was gearing up to try and replace the Best Man. Lots of love to Alix and Ryan. 
#love #wedding #countrywedding #countrytheme #ceremony #cherish #celebrant

 

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18 ways to have a cheaper wedding.

18 Ways Real People Had Their Dream Weddings Cheaply

You don’t need to break the bank to have the best day ever.  Firstly make sure you engage an awesome Celebrant, as he or she can make or break your wedding.

Alice Mongkongllite / BuzzFeed

25 Awesome wedding photos contest winners

1st Place in All About Light, Winter 2013, Taipei, Taiwan

Photo credits: Chris Huang

1st Place in Pure Art, Fall 2014, New York City, New York

Photo credits: Emin Kuliyev

 

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