When people decide to get married, there are some topics that can be overlooked that ‘down the relationship track’ may become more important.

Here are some issues that you might want to discuss with your future life partner.

Firstly choose a date night, or coffee time when you both feel relaxed and not stressed, and are in the mood to communicate openly together. 

Some of these subjects may not pertain to your relationship, and others may just be overlooked or taken for granted that you agree on these issues already. Especially in the heat of new romance, we show our partner our best side. This does not mean that habits or feelings that initially seem endearing can after time be annoying. 

I was looking at a comedy show recently and the American female comic mentioned something that was to a big deal to her when choosing a partner. She was initially attracted to her lover and future husband partly because he was a Harvard business graduate, and she was not ‘good’ with finance and had a rather erratic earning potential at that time.  She erroneously thought that he would have that area of life covered, as that was his forte, only to find out much later that he was quite heavily in debt and not that good with finances at all. 

So here are some things to talk about so you can be on the same page with your loved one.

You both don’t have to agree on every little thing, but talk about the ones that you think might be a priority for you in a happy marriage.

1. Career:- What are your ambitions in your career, are you highly ambitious, somewhat ambitious, or mildly ambitious. What sort of priority do you place on work schedule, as opposed to home and/or family life? If work takes you away from home a lot, would your partner be happy with this? If you needed to move away from your current home for work purposes, whose career takes precedence and priority?
2. Finances:- Do either of you have any significant debt which should be revealed. What are your spending and or savings habits? Do you want to share bank accounts or keep them separate? Will there be open communication around money. Will significant purchases be discussed together? Will you set an amount e.g. $200 or under that one person can make the decision to spend without the other person’s consent. Of course that amount is variable and a joint decision. 
3. Family:- Do you have much contact with Parents and other relatives? How much do you allow them into your life and relationship decisions? Do you all get on well together? 
4. Children:- Do you see having children in your future? If so is there a timeline that you both agree on for that to happen in a comfortable manner for both parties. Will duties be shared or will one person be the main nurturer. How much will each parent contribute to the upbringing emotionally and financially. 
5. Friends and social life:- How much do you want to socialise with friendship groups moving forward? Are you happy if your partner socialises regularly without you? Are you comfortable with your future spouse confiding in their friends about your relationship. If so how much do you consider a fair thing? Do you consider time apart healthy or a deal breaker. 
6. Gambling and or Alcohol or Substance abuse:-Do either of you have problems with gambling, alcohol or drug abuse which your partner finds problematic or that are not being controlled?
7. Politics, Spirituality and or Religion:- Discuss your feelings about these things. Do you share common values re social justice, compassions towards your fellow human, do you see these ideas changing in any way? Are you on the same page with spirituality and or religion.  Do you think your partners beliefs would ever be a problem with your relationship should things change? If your partner’s views changed drastically in any of these ways, how much is too much for you to handle?
8. Love and Sex:- What are your honest views on your sex life. Do either of you have needs which are not being fulfilled right now? If so how can you deal with these issues. Discuss what you like sexually and what you need sexually to be happy in your relationship. How do you need your partner to show affection? Romantic words, actions or both? How much intimacy do you need to be shown to feel loved?
9. Respect:- How do you wish to be spoken about and treated in front of friends and relatives? How much is too much when joking about your spouse? When do you feel disrespected? Ensure your loved one knows when they are going too far. Some friends I know have key words that they say when their significant other is crossing the line with them, either alone or especially socially. 
10. How to make the chores fair:- Make a list of things that each of you can look after in the relationship to make the workload fair and equitable. Taking turn about to cook and clean. Making sure that there is not just one person shouldering all of the work. Keep your eyes open to what needs to be done and don’t make one person the ‘parent figure’ who always has to ask the other to do their chores. That doesn’t make anyone feel loved or appreciated.

There are many more issues which could be mentioned on this list, but maybe when you start your open communications other issues which are important to you both will come up in your discussions. Communication is one of the major keys to success in a long term relationship. 

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Games at weddings are becoming more and more popular.  When I first became a celebrant I performed a themed and costumed Alice in Wonderland Wedding.  I came as the white rabbit from the story. During the break after the ceremony and before the Reception, guests played croquet on the lawn, like they did in the story itself.  They all seemed to really enjoy the theme and the croquet.

You don’t have to have a theme to have some fun and games at your wedding.  If you want to be hip with the in crowd, here are some tips for a successful fun wedding that everyone will be talking about for ages afterwards.

So many ceremonies happen outdoors in parks and gardens these days and even in people’s home gardens, that it is really perfect to set up some games to give the guests something to do if there is a break between the ceremony and the reception times. It also discourages so much alcohol drinking, so could save you a bundle. You can provide water and soft drinks in eskies or tubs of ice during the break. Let the champagne flow after the bridal party arrive back to the celebrations.

There are a few ways to acquire the necessary games you need to keep the guests entertained while you have photos taken etc.  Firstly keep in mind what type of wedding you are having.  If the look is very formal, some more refined games would be required.  Croquet or Boules would be very suitable.  You can buy boules and croquet sets that are not too expensive and keep them later for home parties in your own garden.  If you keep your eye on the catalogues you can find these games on special from time to time.  They last forever, so can be a great investment. I also had friends who made their own giant jenga.  They said it wasn’t too hard.  Look on pinterest for information on making giant games.

I ordered giant games online, which included giant jenga (very popular) and giant connect 4, also a popular game.  There was also a giant dominoes. The quality of the games when they arrived was quite disappointing, the giant connect 4 falling to pieces before my party was over. This was a big shame.  I had attended a party where the giant games were absolutely fantastic.  On enquiry, my friend informed me that she had hired these games for her party.

Another fantastic game is Giant frisbee, but this perhaps is a little athletic for a wedding.  Guests may have to take off their good shoes and heels to play this.

Some of the types of outdoor games for hire

• Giant chess
• Giant jenga
• Giant pick up sticks
• Ten Pin Bowling
• Boules
• Croquet
• Giant Connect 4

So if you do care that your guests are having a great time and not just drinking the bar dry in between ceremony and reception, start buying or look at some of the following websites to see prices to hire games.  Then put one of your friends or family members in charge of putting the games out and collecting them to be taken back after the wedding.

If you are game for the games for your big event, try the following websites.

www.brisbanebackyardgames.com.au

www.giantgames.com.au

or if you feel jumpy

www.jumpingcastlehirebrisbane.com.au/

Have an excellent wedding and if you want a fantastic celebrant who is lots of fun, contact us.

Cherish Ceremonies

Marriage Celebrants

www.cherishceremonies.com.au

www.cherishceremonies.com

phone Lynette 07 3807 3025 or Tamzin 0403 582 667

Creating Moments to Cherish Forever!

Having your Fur Babies attend your wedding is very popular at the moment.  Doggos and Puppers are such a special part of the family and more and more people are choosing to have them be present and be part of their wedding and new ‘leash on life’.

There are a few things to consider when deciding to have your pets be a part of your special day, otherwise, it can end up a bit Ruff.

As weddings can be quite busy and hectic, it is a good idea to ‘paws’ and ask a friend or relative or specialised pet sitter to be in charge of your furry friend/s.  These days there are even special people who will do everything on the big day to ensure your furry friends arrive on time, are looked after, fed watered and returned to their safe place after the wedding. This obviously removes the worry about their welfare.

For example: http://www.firstclasspetweddingassistants.com.au First Class Pet Wedding Assistants service Brisbane, Gold Coast, Sunshine Coast, Northern NSW and the Hinterlands

Firstly you should check that pets are allowed at the site you have chosen.  They will need shade and water if it is an outside venue, especially in summer weather. Obviously, they should not be left alone in cars or to their own devices.  Please give someone from your guests or your pet sitter permission to come and get the pets if they start to cause any sort of disruption to your ceremony. Like little children, pets can sometimes act out of character or in an unruly manner, and you don’t want them to spoil your big day.

If they are playing a role in the ceremony, besides being in the photos or part of the wedding party, you should practice their role with them. Be realistic, do they sit still and behave if they are going to be part of the ceremony?

This is a true ‘tail’ from a Cherish Wedding. Quite a few years ago, friends of mine, Lindsay and Kim, decided to a special little fur friend Rufus take the role of ‘best man and ring bearer’ at their wedding. Rufus was a very good friend of Lindsay’s and they decided to dispense with the traditional human roles of Best Man and just use Rufus. Being the smart little fellow he was, they practiced calling him at the appropriate time to come and bring the rings to the Bride and Groom. Rufus wore a doggy tuxedo with the rings attached and ran up the aisle right on cue and delivered the rings to perfection.  What a good boy he was.

Since those days, many couples have chosen to have their fur babies there as part of their ceremony to great acclaim.

There are many websites where you can purchase some formal gear for you pet to wear at your Wedding. Otherwise, a pretty bow or some flowers attached to their collar would do the trick just right!

Good luck with your pet-friendly wedding and if you follow some of this advice you too will have a happy ‘tail’ to tell.

If you would like to book a wedding including pets with Cherish Ceremonies, just contact us

Cherish Ceremonies – Creating Memories to Cherish Forever!